Pre school Behaviour & Development
Usually a child’s or toddler’s behaviour issues aren’t noticed by professionals until they go to school.
A child is making themselves aware of their own world. They leave home and their secure base to move into a new space, they have different rules to live by and different children to interact with. Not everyone they meet will like them, they will have different stories and backgrounds. Your child looks at them and wonders why and how they are different and how lives are different. This is where parents start to notice behaviour, the child explores more and natural curiosity means they will push the boundaries.
Pushing boundaries in toddlers and pre school is normal. It’s about finding out what is acceptable and what is not, it’s to find out they, even if they are told off, are still loved, it’s to find out that there are red lines.
In our own lives as adults, we know being two minutes late for work won’t get us fired but not turning up for a week with no explanation will. We know that if we miss dinner time by half an hour we won’t starve but miss food for days and it’ll become an issue. Pre school children need to learn these skills too. kids.
We can turn to the animal kingdom and see what works. The clear and defined boundaries work. When a wolf, lion or primate is not wanting to play with the child or needs a rest they turn their back to signal. It is a simple approach and effective, it leads to a young one recognising the sign, if however the child continues the parent animal will be more firm. To translate this into our pre school children, we can put our hand out to ask “no” with a follow up of a firm voice saying “no”. Note the first time we ask, the second time we tell.
Techniques such as “time out and review” must always be followed by an explanation, forgiveness and understanding. This doesn’t come naturally, there is no guide book and struggling with a pre school child or toddler’s behaviour doesn’t have to continue, we can help. Having to put your own emotion aside so shortly after receiving the behaviour is hard, even harder for a young sibling, but it is possible.
Christopher (3 years old) was hitting his baby sister quite hard as soon as I left the room. I used to tell him off but he would never listen and would always run off and cry. I felt helps as my daughter would be crying and Christopher would be crying and I was just so overwhelmed all the time. I called Parenting commandos and we had a good chat and quickly arranged an introduction. I felt silly but within the first few minutes I knew I wasn’t alone in feeling out of control. Within two meetings we had changed the way I told Christopher “no” and made sure if he ran to his bedroom he would be called back. After a few days with the new techniques, he stopped hitting his sister. I could leave the room for the toilet or a wee phone call. In the beginning I felt ashamed, not any more. I wish I had called Parenting Commandos earlier, the house is so much calmer.
Sally ( Edinburgh )
There are times and situations when we can identify traits and we can recommend you speak to your GP or CAHMS. We will help with a full report outlining our work together and what has been working and what hasn’t; what has been identified as needing exploration within the medical field and we can support you through the process. Our team has been on both sides of the fence, experience working with CAHMS, NHS, Social Services and the Education department. We know it can be a minefield, we know people can be dismissed, problems swept under the carpet and sometimes it can be a battle against the system.
We help to build techniques and put many others in place over the first few months with an ability for you to continue it as the need arises. With so many ways to parent and so many techniques it’s okay to explore your options to find the one that suits you. The most important factor is to have a confident parent and knowing your child loves you, this will change the whole environment for your child.
Call, message or email to arrange a short telephone call now. We offer a free no obligation call back.