Teenager Behaviour & Development
Teen support for both your child and you can be tough to find and we could write so much about it, pages and pages, book after book. We know that at this point your child needs to be actively engaged in the process. We know your situation is unique and you may want a different approach. We listen before we offer anything and want your and your child’s views before we can try to come to a solution with you.
It’s a hard age with so many questions, bullying, relationships, sex, alcohol, drugs, mental health, anxiety, confidence, body confidence, depression, ADHD, Covid, socialising, fear,exam stress, friendship groups, family breakdown, parental breakdown.
It is a never ending exhaustive list.
There is another side, a positive side. It’s not going to be an easy ride and some hard stuff is going to happen. We aren’t going to deny it, we are however going to help you and your child to find the best way through it for your unique situation.
How are we supposed to deal with teenagers? All that support that was there in primary school, the health visitor’s, the chats on the school run have all gone. It’s a mine field with what we can do and where to turn.
Teens have some freedom, choice, independence and they know it’s all on the way up. Responsibility is here but only if they choose it, but if they don’t then what?
Connor started to have problems getting bullied in school, lots of verbal and a few times physical but constant bullying. The school would sweep it under the carpet and as the bullies were crafty there was no proof. Connor was becoming aggressive at home so I needed help. He was too strong for me now he had grown. I called Parenting Commandos and we had a discussion. Initially it was just with me to find out the issues, we had a long couple of chats over the phone and then it was over to Connor. They met at home and agreed to meet at starbucks, the treat of starbuck and skipping his worst lesson was enough to keep him going. After 3 or 4 weeks he started to become less aggressive at home, I don’t know what was said in their meetings but it started to make a difference. Connor didn’t want me to speak to school about the bullying so I asked Parenting Commandos to approach it. After a few more weeks we were able to have a meeting with the 3 of us. It was nice to be let into to Connor’s world. After the session I had to change a few things I did, my approach wasn’t helping Connor and ended up shouting, so I had to work on my direct approach. Parenting Commandos gave me a few different ways to ask Connor what was happening. Connor sessions continued for a few more months and a couple more as a family. It helped so much. I would definitely make the phone call to Parenting Commandos and help me understand Connors behaviour and teenagers. You think you know until you don’t.
When your child is younger you have the ability to put the rules down, as they grow so does our approach. Rules are made to be broken aren’t they? In our experience having a discussion around the rules, understanding your red lines and a negotiation is a great way to approach rule setting. Sometimes it’s too late to begin the rules setting and we need an intervention to help. We can help, either individually with the child, parent or the family as a whole.