16+ Behaviour & Development
At this age there is so much that can be going on in your life that it would be impossible to list everything we can help with, we know it’s important to you and we approach in a non judgemental way. We can work with just the young person, the parents or family as a whole.
We know this is a really important time in your child’s life and even though they are reaching adulthood they are still your child and need your guidance, however hard it feels to give it. Not yet an adult but so close and with still a lot to learn. We change around 16 and then at 18 they turn into an adult and everything changes. The support systems in place disappear and the routine of school is gone.
We can help even if your child doesn’t want to work with us, we can work with you and the situation and find a unique approach to you and your family.
I didn’t get the grades I wanted for my Uni course, I had to go through clearing. I was so angry and upset that I didn’t want to even apply. I was already unsure about moving away anyway and now with no actual Uni to go to I just thought I would stay at home and get a job. My mum set me up with a few weeks worth of sessions with these guys. I wasn’t really bothered about it, just thought it would be another teacher or counsellor making me talk through it all. I was so wrong, we spent about an hour chatting about my short and medium goals, then I got a reality check. It was like a light bulb moment, well if i want to do it why don’t I. The next session we sat together and went through Clearing, chose a course I wanted and applied. After that we worked on the what if’s, back up plans and options and that was it. A few weeks and I’d gone from no uni and staying at home to accepted uni and back up plans in place should I need them.
Alex (18, Edinburgh)
There may be behaviours that are very dangerous, that need a serious and frank discussion on how to deal with it. It may be bullying and fighting or exam pressures, Uni choices and the whole burden of life. There are solutions to these and putting the right steps in place is great and it’s never too late to start even if it feels like it.
My son started smoking weed a few years ago, I didn’t think it was a massive deal but lately I think he’s been hanging around with different people, not concentrating at school and being shady about things. I guessed it wasn’t “just” weed anymore and spoke to Archie, he told me in no uncertain terms that I could go away as he was fine. I was so worried, he started missing school too and they were phoning me to make sure he went but I thought he was going in, they didn’t offer any support as he was just above the magic attendance percentage. I emailed Parenting commandos and we had an email chat. It was validating and I was told about all the services that could help, only problem is my son wouldn’t go see anyone. I had a face to face meeting and we devised a strategy together that I hoped would work. Parenting Commando’s came round at 9am every Monday to talk to us, for the first few weeks it was just me, Archie would walk past every now and then and say “whats he doing here” but after a few weeks he joined in reluctantly and he actually talked. I spent a lot of time working on my expectations, I kept on shouting at him for drinking monster energy drinks when its was so far down on my worry list, Parenting commandos helped me to work on how I approached it. They then started to meet Archie at school, a few plans were put in place for how to avoid situations with people who he thought were friends and Archie is starting to turn a corner. I know its going to take more work but having them here to work through it with us helps, I stopped worrying about the future as much as the crazy mum parent I was a few months ago and it helps so much with me and Archie, we are not shouting at each other anymore.
Vivian ( Livingston)
There are some issues that may need someone to help you move forward, from exam stress or adjusting to Uni halls and life can be put in place before they start. That anxiety of the unknown can be dealt with and some practical steps put in place can make the difference to a great start to Uni or our next move into the adult world.
You may be dealing with something unexpected; pregnancy or something you don’t want to speak about but you want to put something in place to move forward. We look to help you move in steps you are comfortable with, look at “our approach” page and see if it is something we can work together on.
We know that parents may want to see immediate progress and understand what their child is going through. Progress can usually be seen after a few sessions but may take longer as more things are worked through. We respect confidentiality with our sessions and understand it can be frustrating not knowing, however when your child is ready we can facilitate the conversation or advise a way to start the conversation and encourage it to be open and flowing.
What ever issue you face, we know that not every approach works for everyone. Look at “our approach page” and see if our approach may help you. Sometimes the hardest step is the first contact, email or phone and we can take it from there.